


The Shirime

by Mesonyx96



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Meta, Monster of the Week, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-11
Updated: 2017-05-11
Packaged: 2018-10-30 13:31:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10877790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mesonyx96/pseuds/Mesonyx96
Summary: Sam and Dean track down a monster of the week that they cannot find any info about. The creature is taken from Japanese mythology, and it's not what they expected.





	The Shirime

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Narwhal_Demon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Narwhal_Demon/gifts).



“So you couldn’t get any info from the locals?” Dean asked again, his voice was deep and cavernous, like the Mariana’s Trench. 

“No. They would all mention that they saw something, but none of them were willing to give any real details.” Sam said as his hair glistened in the moonlight. “It was like they were so…. Afraid that they didn’t even want to describe it. 

“Whatever we’re dealing with, it must be really nasty.” Dean said, his voice rich but rough, like a chocolate cupcake filled with sand. 

It was just past midnight, and even seasoned hunters like Sam and Dean felt the effects of being alone in the woods at night. They glanced over at every little sound. Twigs snapping and leaves rustling could just be normal nocturnal creatures, or it could be their mystery beast. They had been drawn to this case because it was just so unusual. Normally when something supernatural showed up, the locals would exaggerate their encounters, sensationalizing things as much as possible to drag out their fifteen minutes of fame. But everyone involved in this case seemed to just want to forget about their encounter.

After not even a full hour they found themselves checking their watches incessantly. With no idea what the creature was they had no idea of how to lure it in, all they knew was that it tended to favor the hiking trails at a certain state park near the town. 

Once the minutes started dragging by with no sign of something sinister, they decided to head back. Before they even made it close to the trailhead though, both flashlights flickered out. 

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” Sam said, his voice deep but not as deep as Dean’s.

Suddenly, all of a sudden, a figure materialized several yards in front of them on the path. Sam pulled out a crossbow with silver bolts, while Dean whipped out a gun loaded with rock salt. They were ready to kill the fuck out of whatever this monster was. 

As their eyes adjusted to the dark, and the figure sauntered closer, the details of the creature became clear. It was just a man, albeit wearing some unusual clothing; an ancient looking kimono. 

Deen cocked his shotgun, ready to kill the ghost. And dammit it didn’t matter that it was already dead, he would kill it again. The seconds dragged on, the tension almost as thick as Sam’s luxurious mane, as they waited for it to be in range. Without a word Dean shot the beast, hitting it square in the exposed, hairy chest. 

But the ghost, or whatever it was didn’t even blink, the load of rock salt bouncing off of it like it was nothing. Sam fired his arrow, to no avail. 

The creature sprinted forward, standing about one yard (for you metrics folk that’s as tall as a six foot tall person cut in half) away from the brothers. They stared it down with masculine intensity, and it dropped it’s robe.

Before they could even get a chance to react it turned around exposing its naked asscheeks. But between those hauntingly pale asscheeks, was an eye. Not a ‘brown’ eye but an actual eyeball and as it opened it released a blinding white light. The glare was almost as blinding as a streak of lightning, but not quite that bright, like if you were looking at lightning through slightly tinted, fashionable shades. 

The brothers stood there for a minute, then did the only reasonable thing they could do when faced with a seemingly impenetrable, immortal being with an eyeball for a butthole. 

They ran and didn’t look back until they were inside baby, driving safely to a seedy motel. The next morning the phone rang at the crack of dawn.

“Hello?” Dean said, his voice like the silky baritones of a cruise ship right before it crashes into an iceberg. 

“Hey Dean, it’s Ellen. You boys find any leads on that monster?”

Dean looked at Sam. Sam stared back at Dean. They both mentally looked back at the blindingly bright eyeball, whiter than a country club in Georgia, and they silently made an agreement. 

“Nope, it was uh, it was just a hoax.” Dean hung up quickly before Ellen could ask too many questions, and the Winchester boys knew that this monster was not one for the books. Definitely not a monster that anyone would want to see dragged out into, say, a 40 minute long tv episode.


End file.
